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Diary Of A Benin Corper

Today we bring you another Episode of Naijaschoolnews Stories, this time it is Diary Of A Benin Corper. This story was written by Isaac Newton Akah. Enjoy and Happy Sunday.
 After searching the whole of Benin city for a suitable cheap apartment that will benefit a corper, i finally got one at the heart of Benin. The landlord of the house i lived in welcomed me and I got introduced to his wife in a unique way. The landlord had called me to his apartment and opened the Bible to the book of Genesis. I told him I was still struggling with my religiosity as I didn't know if I was going to become a Buddhist. He told me the event was significant irrespective of the religion I professed. I sat back and let him talk.
My landlord began. Genesis had it that God called Adam aside and informed him he could have all the fruits in the garden, but the apple in the centre. The moment Adam touched the fruit, his wahala began. He was released from Eden and sent to a place that resembled Nigeria...
I asked if he was still reading from the Bible. He said he was. "What do you call yourself? Ehe, INA, don't touch this apple in the centre! That is the message here."
He was talking and motioning in his wife's direction. I told him I haven't seen any flowers in the compound, why then was he speaking of trees and apples?
He gave me a side look. "Let me be clear with you, INA, so we don't have a case of lost in translation, or error of parallax..."
I wanted to tutor him on the science of error of parallax, and why he was using it wrongly, but I let him be. I wanted peace and no long thing.
"The koko is, INA, I don't want you anywhere near my wife." He dropped the bomb.
I laughed. I gave his wife a side look. Damn, that chic be hot! I told my landlord there was no problem. "Is that why you were reading the Bible and quoting Einstein? Ah, calm down, Oga."
"There better be no problem, INA! There better not be. Or you'll xxyyyzzzz!"
That night, I had loads of bad dreams. In one of them, my landlord was sitting on my face, suffocating me. He wasn't even wearing pant! All that foul smell! Hay god!
I knew I had to stay away from that woman - banging body or not.
The next morning, I sat on my work desk and began painting pictures with words. That's what I do. I'm a painter.
I heard a knock on the door. I removed my earpiece and went to get it. My landlord's wife was standing there. She was barely clothed...

1 comment:

  1. Run! run!! run!!! run!!! Dream comes through...


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