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SEE this hilarious Open Letter to the VC of FUTO

Dear sir,
Happy Sallah in arrears. I trust you are well. I decided to write to you to bare my mind. I came to FUTO for the post-utme and I was surprised by what
I saw. My elder brother even says the place is heaven compared to when he was an undergraduate in the late 2000s.
To be honest with you sir, I have really suffered. I graduated from secondary school in 2009. Yes. My Aunt gave birth to a baby boy the day I wrote my last paper. The boy walked into the room as I’m writing this letter. His presence just made me realize how long I have stayed at home. Sir, the annoying part of it is that he came in carrying a plate of garri and soup. He is old enough to eat garri! That’s how long it has been!
I was among those that wrote JAMB that same year and I had a reasonable score too. All we had to do was pay the invigilators to help us with the answers from their phones. Unfortunately, I had a D7- in Maths- in my WAEC exams. It took me a total of 2 years and a Special Center in far away Edo state to get a complete WAEC result.
Sir, the witches in my village were disappointed that I had finally gotten a chance to attend University, and FUTO for that matter.  They began planning against me. Last year, I came to FUTO for the first time.  As those witches would have it sir, I arrived at the examination hall a day after the exam was written, as scheduled. The worst part was that the Okada man told me we had to go through Senate Building before we reach SEET Head, from where I would find my supposed exam hall. So he charged me 500 naira from the school park, after a 10-minute ride. Witches!
So you see when I discovered the exams were to be written at the FUTO ICT Center, I was the happiest man on earth. At last the Okada men have finally gotten payback. No one would have to bike to the exam halls from the park again.
Sir why did it have to be CBT na? I don’t even know what you told those ICT people sef. They were just behaving as if it was one international army exam. Even one guy wey I use get hope to send me answers couldn’t do anything for me. The idiot said the thing cast. Way no dey!
But sir, you know that the education system has since spoiled. E don tey wey em spoil. And it wasn’t us that messed it up. I wonder why we are the ones to suffer for the labour of our heroes past. I know you will say that the fixing must begin from somewhere. I know you might even say that I am lazy and stupid, but to be honest sir, the longer one stays at home out of school, the faster their common sense diminishes. I wrote another JAMB this year with the help of God and I got 260. I couldn’t even get half of that in the Post-Utme. Chai!
Please sir, don’t let the evil people in my village succeed. They have vowed that I will never attend University. I just want to ask for two things:
  1. Is it possible to conduct another Post-Utme exams for people whose scores are below PMB and Osinbajo’s ages combined?
  2. Can you hire those people that invigilate WAEC examinations for this supplementary Post-Utme?
I know you have the power to do it sir. If you do this for me and my brothers and sisters in this predicament, we will keep praying for you. God bless you in advance.
Yours Honestly,
Aggrieved  FUTO aspirant.

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